Do Something For YOU

A Facebook friend of mine posted this on her wall and I felt it was important to share. I still remember the moment in September 2009 when I realized that I was fat. And if I was being totally honest with myself, I was not just fat, but according to my BMI, I was obese.

I used to try to hide myself. I'd tie a long sleeve shirt around my waist to hide my bottom half. I'd wear baggy clothes, hoping that I'd look more shapeless. I'd wear only black so that I would not draw attention to myself. I was embarrassed of my own body.

So you're probably wondering why I didn't choose to lose the weight sooner. I never really ate much. My mom always said that I "ate like a bird". My family thought I had a thyroid problem or that I was diabetic. My doctor ran those tests. They came back normal. The problem wasn't the amount of food that I ate in a day. It was the choices that I made. I never ate breakfast. I skipped lunch and would snack on potato chips. Sometimes, I would even skip dinner for a bowl of ice cream with pretzels to dip in it.

My husband bought an electronic scale for himself around September 2009. I didn't actually know how much I weighed. I had an idea, but that was it. I avoided the scale for a couple days then decided I needed to know. I stepped on the scale. I weighed about 30 pounds more than I thought I did! I was 55 pounds away from a healthy weight for my height!

The "sticker"/photo/saying that I posted at the top of this post reminds me of the internal conversation that I had with myself when I decided to lose the weight. I made the change for myself. I no longer wanted my weight to determine my happiness, my self worth, my future.

Losing weight is hard. Keeping it off is hard too. BUT feeling good about yourself is priceless.

When One Door Closes...

Another Opens.

Being a Stay At Home mom is a sacrifice. I knew that when I agreed to quit my job and raise our child. I would have no income until she went to kindergarten. Five years of being a "one income household". Things would be tight, but it would be well worth it to have that time with my daughter, to teach her, to watch her grow.

Well, unfortunately, some debts can only be deferred so long. Student Loans, for instance. I will have to start repaying them in 2012. So I have about three months to come up with extra income for us.

As much as I enjoy making jewelry, it is not a lucrative business venture. I have sold items, but it is not a steady means of income. Plus you have to spend money to make money. I just don't have the extra money to spend.

My husband works shift work so his schedule is never consistent and can change with a moment's notice. I have to be the available parent at all times. So you can see why I need something that I can do from home.

So I thought about things that I love:
my kid, my hubby, cats, knitting, halloween, candles, reading, writing, the beach and.... WAIT!!! Candles! That's it! I love candles.

I have been obsessed with candles for over a decade now. I have floral scents, seasonal scents, comfort food scents, aromatherapy scents and clean scents. I've burned regular old candles and soy candles. I've used tart warmers, candle warmers, and reed diffusers. I've even taken candles on vacation with me!

To sell something, you have got to LOVE it. So today, I signed up to be a Scentsy Consultant. I'll be selling candles!

I'm really hoping that this will be the beginning of a successful new chapter in my life!

Loss of an Angel

All around the United States, the American people collectively mourned on the tenth anniversary of the terrorist attacks of September 11th. For the Vogel family of Phoenixville, Pa, they were saying goodbye to their youngest daughter.

Five year old Gabby lost her months long battle with a rare brain cancer last night. I have never met Gabby, but have been following her story since the beginning when my cousin, who knows her father, brought Gabby and her fight to my attention.

Not a day went by, where I have not thought of Gabby. I would read every update, every blog post, every fundraiser announcement. I have never been much of a religious person, but I found myself praying for this little girl. When her parent posted in a blog about wondering "Why?", "Why Gabby?", "Why not YOUR child?" I found myself shuttering at the thought. They were right, how it could easily be any of our children. I found myself asking, "Why ANY child?"

And now, Gabby is gone and I feel a profound sadness for this little girl that I never even met. She will remain 5 years old forever. Never able to go to prom, learn to drive, move away to college or get married. Even more simply, she can never hug her parents again or hear the words "I love you" or feel the summer air turn crisp and cool as autumn approaches. I find myself dazed tonight as my thoughts continue to go back to her. She was not mine, yet I want to yell and scream and cry because I don't think that it is fair that she lost her fight against cancer.

See, I guess I need to explain the impact that Gabby had on my life. Since learning about her brave fight and watching her family chronicle it, I have changed. I yell about the small things a little less. I try to make more "memorable" moments instead of getting caught up in the daily chores of life. I take the time for trips to get an ice cream cone "just because" now. I won't end cuddle time because the laundry needs to get finished anymore. I am a better mom because of Gabby.

Gabby's gift to all of us was to show us how time is precious, fleeting. That every moment with our children is a moment to be thankful for, even if your child is up all night vomiting or is in the middle of a temper tantrum in the grocery store.

As much as I would like to donate money in memory of Gabby, I am a stay-at-home mom with very limited means. I remembered reading about another family that honored a lost child by having a day where anyone and everyone was asked to participate in a "random acts of kindness" day in his memory. Basically, you would do something kind for a stranger. You could pay for the person's coffee behind you in line at Wawa in the morning. You could help an elderly person (or a mom with her hands full) bag their groceries at the grocery store. You do as much or as little as you want. The catch? That you tell the stranger that you are doing this act of kindness in memory of the child and for them to pass on the kindness as well. I think that for Gabby's birthday this year (October 9th) that we should have a "Random Acts of Kindness" Day in Gabby's honor. Why let Gabby's gift stop now? I have a feeling, she can and will continue to change and impact lives even now.

Rest in Peace, Gabby. You will be missed... even by those of us, who never met you, but were still affected by you.

If you would like to read more about Gabby, visit her website here.

UPDATE*
I have set up an Random Acts of Kindness Event through Facebook to coincide with her sixth birthday. If you are interested in participating, please click on link below to see invitation.

Random Acts of Kindness For Gabby Vogel

When Little Things Become Big Things

Ever have that feeling that it doesn't matter what you do, you're going to screw your kid up... somehow... someway?

The other night, that thought crashed into my brain, lighting it up like a thunderstorm. The reason? My daughter's refusal to clean up her toys. This is the one area where she tries to challenge us. In all other ways, she is a thoughtful, happy, even helpful child.

We have the same battle almost every night. It is always the same thing. Usually I (but sometimes Hubby) asks her to start cleaning up. She knows that I'm going to help her, but she needs to start picking up on her own. We give her a chance to do so (roughly 5-10 minutes). When she makes no effort, I ask her more firmly. Nothing. I threaten her with Time Out. Nothing. Another ten minutes will pass with no forward movement. We tell her that this is her final warning. She needs to clean up... or else. No attempt to pick up her toys comes from her. Finally, we tell her to pick a toy (that she has carelessly discarded anyway) to donate to a child that isn't as fortunate as her. This ends with a screaming, crying fit from kiddo and leaves me to clean it up after she goes asleep. I fold. I melt. All her toys remain her own and the cycle continues the next night. Bad momma moment replayed... almost every night.

I admit that I'm an imperfect parent. Who isn't? I try my best, but I make mistakes. Parenting is filled with Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda's. There is always going to be another parent, who will tell you that you could have avoided that whole ugly moment by doing blah-diddity-blah. Or that you should have done a, b and c to make sure that your child grows up to be a well-adjusted adult. Or that they would've have done.... Eh, you get the point. While I'm sure most of it is well meant, this advice is tailored from their experiences with other children. And all children are different.

And what might be "no big deal" to one kiddo, might be something that another will remember into adulthood. We don't have the gift of precognition. It is impossible to tell which seemingly small mistake (that we make as a parent) will be part of the baggage that our children carry with them. I was reading a book in which the main character references a woman that refuses to use dryer sheets while doing laundry. She was a smart, educated woman. By all accounts, a relatively normal lady. You know why she didn't use them? Her mom had told her that they were poisonous when she was a child because dryer sheets were a new invention and her mother didn't know much about them. She never forgot that passing comment. Her mother probably never thought about that moment again, but her daughter carried it with her into her adult life.

This brings me back to our nightly clean up battle. Finally, I decided to go through with the threat. I picked out one of her dress-up outfits, put it in the foyer by the front door and told her that it was getting donated to a little girl that didn't have any dress-up clothes to play in. She crumbled. As much as you need to "harden" yourself to your child crying when things don't go their way, it still breaks your heart to see the little person, that you love more than anything, so distraught. Her face was flushed and covered in tears. It was at that moment that it occurred to be that I was screwing up my kid. Fireworks went off. Alarms sounded. This could be the unforgettable moment that scars her. She could be a future "collector of junk" seen on "Hoarders: Buried Alive" all because her momma got rid of a dress-up outfit (that she never even played with) against her will.

I helped her clean up after that with this awful feeling in my stomach. I gave her a bath, got her in her jammies and read her a bedtime story. That night, I wondered about the unavoidable mistakes that we make as parents. Could I undo the damage if intuition told me that this might be one of those mind-searing moments?

I decided YES. This memory has yet to be set in stone. I set up a proposition with her. If she cleaned up the next night without any complaints or continual prodding then she could earn back the outfit. That night, she helped me clean up without any problems. She reclaimed her fairy outfit, threw it in her dress-up chest and it hasn't seen the light of day since.

It doesn't matter if she never plays with it again. I want her to willingly let go of her toys when she outgrows them like she's done in the past. I hope that she'll look at donation as a good thing, not as a punishment. It doesn't matter if other parents agree with my methods. The only thing that will matter is that my daughter grows up to be a happy, healthy, thoughtful, caring person.

I think I'm on the right track with that.


Coffetable Conversations:
What battle do your repeatedly have with your child?

What mistakes have you made as a parent?

What backward thinking (like the woman with the dryer sheets) do you have as a result of something that happened to you or was said to you as a child?

New Name = Good Deal

Unfortunately, I had to change my blog's name AGAIN. This time, I had to do so because there was another blog with a very similar name.

I searched my blog today because I was planning to write a blog post this afternoon. Even though I know my blog address, I search it on SwagBuck's search engine to possibly earn a couple extra SwagBucks. If you are unfamilar with SwagBucks, you should check it out. It's awesome! Go to the very bottom of my blog and click on the SwagBuck Widget.

Back to the Blog Name Switchroo. I clicked on the link that the search engine provided and it led me to the other blog. Not only was our blog name virtually identical, now the blog head was the same as mine! I had designed my header by going through tons of free banner sites and then customizing it on Picnik. I figured that if I could mistakenly click on the wrong blog that my readers may do so as well.

So I just spent the past hour and a half, finding a new name, making a new header and changing the entire look of my blog. I hope that you will like the new changes.

Since I was unable to publish a new blog post (this one doesn't count), I'm going to share a crazy-good deal with you.

Cloud 9 Nails

Before I became a mommy, I used to get my nails done all the time. Acrylic nails were a part of my bi-weekly ritual. For the first couple days after getting my nails done, I would find myself staring at them. Stuck in traffic? Look at my pretty nail polish. Talking on the phone? Stare at the sparkle of my colored nails. I thought there would never come a time where I would stop getting my nails done... or at the very least, having them painted!

When I got pregnant, the trips to the nail salon were one of the first unnecessary expenses to go.

When I had my daughter, painting my nails went by the wayside. Didn't have the time to sit and wait for my nails to dry while my baby cried or crawled or toddled around or flung baby food at the cat.

Now that my little girl is three, we can paint our nails together. Unfortunately, every nailpolish that I could afford and find easily would begin to chip within the day. Even my favorite OPI colors!

I let kiddo pick out a color for us to paint our nails when we went to Target recently. Sinful Colors had many different colors to choose from and was pretty cheap at $2.49 compared to OPI and Sally Hansen. She picked out this shimmery orange-peel color named Cloud 9.

We painted her toes and my fingernails with this summery, orange-ade color. Color goes on sheer so to get a deeper color just keep adding layers. Dry time was about the same as most nailpolishes.

The result: sunshine on our nails! I have to admit, I have been staring at my finger nails again.

Five days later, the polish is beginning to chip. Just around the tips, nothing major. For a cheap, long-lasting, at-home manicure, I would absolutely recommend Sinful Colors. We've already been scouting out our next nail polish color, which is looking like it will be 'Beautiful Girl'.

Gotta love those pink colors!

*Moment4Mommy hasn't received any compensation for this review.

Lemon Pasta For Dummies

I am not a chef. In fact, I am not much of a cook. There is a handful of things that I can make well. That very short list includes baked ziti, lasagna, tuna casserole and shepherd's pie. I make some mean vegetarian tacos and a pretty decent macaroni salad. See a common thread there?

Pasta. Noodles. They are pretty much a staple of almost every meal that I make at home. Thankfully, I have a three year old, who loves noodles or as she calls them depending on the presentation "noon-els" or "sketties".

We don't have central air in our home. We have individual air conditioning window units in our bedrooms and family room. So needless to say, it get very hot in our house in the summer months. Too hot to cook or stay in our balmy kitchen for very long.

One sticky, stiflingly hot night, I was throwing together some things to spice up a regular bowl of noodles for dinner. The result was pretty darn tasty. Kiddo licked her plate clean then told me that that was "the best dinner ever".

I know the idea of Lemon Pasta is nothing new, but this is my version. This one is best for the cooking-challenged mama's out there! I thought I'd share this super easy concoction.

Lemon Pasta

Spaghetti Noodles (about 6 oz. dry, uncooked)
One Lemon
Parsley Flakes
Nature's Seasons
Garlic Powder

I cook the noodles till they are al dente. I like a little bite to my "sketties". Drain the starchy water.

Cut lemon in half. Squeeze the juice of half the lemon onto the noodles. Stir.

Add Nature's Seasons to your pots o'noodles. I cover the top of them with the seasoning which seemed to be the perfect amount. Add two pinches of garlic powder. It is important to not go overboard on it. Stir.

Add LOTS of parsley flakes. Honestly, do it to your own tastes. I'm a parsley fiend and have been known to snack on fresh parsley. If you aren't as big a fan then add less of it.

If you have some parmesan cheese, I'd top it with some. I have yet to try that, but it just sounds yummy together.

There you have it. One delicious and SIMPLE summer dinner.

Storytime Monday

This is an incredibly interesting historical fiction. You will not regret reading this novel!

I was skeptical of a book that was originally written in another language (German) and then translated to English. I had been concerned that it would be too literal, that certain turns of phrase would not read well in another language. I had been completely wrong!

Even after purchasing the book, I was undecided about reading it. I gave it the first chapter test. If after one chapter, I did not want to know what happened next then I wouldn't read on. Well... the beginning of the book pulled me in immediately! I wanted to know what happened next for Jacob Kuisl, the hangman's son, who witnesses his first beheading.

The book continues decades later. Jacob is now the hangman of his village. He is married and has a daughter and much younger twins. The physician's son frequents the hangman's home despite the fact that most villagers avoid even eye contact with him. Hangman were considered to be dishonorable, it was considered bad luck to cross path with one.

The plot unfolds after a young boy is pulled from the river with the mark of the witch on his shoulder. The midwife is blamed, but Jacob and the physician's son believe her to be innocent. Something shady is going on in the village. While most of the town would be happy to explain this tragedy and the others that follow away as witchcraft, Jacob wants to uncover the hidden secrets and let the truth speak for itself.

Read the story of the Hangman's Daughter, you will not be disappointed. Supposedly, Oliver Pötzsch intended for this to be the first novel in a series. Unfortunately, these tales have yet to be translated into English, but when they finally hit the American market, I'll be at the bookstore grabbing them up!


Coffeetable Conversation:
Have you read this book? How did you feel about it? Would you read the next in the series?
What book or books would you like to see reviewed here?

Drum Roll, Please

And the winning NEW name for my blog is....

MOMMA'S TIME OUT!

Winner has been emailed and will receive a bracelet from my Etsy Shop:
Doodlebug's Jewelry Box

So welcome to the new and improved blog. We'll be reviewing books, talking diets, showing off our crafting skills, telling tales out of mommyhood and eventually having guest writers.

So grab a cup of coffee, get into your comfy chair and enjoy your five minute time out.

It's About Time For a Contest... Don't ya think?

This blog used to be about dieting. I thought that writing about my struggles and success would inspire others that were unhappy with their appearances. I hit my goal weight (and more) in less than a year. 69 pounds down. I've been maintaining my weight for over six months now. I don't have much to write about dieting anymore. Not enough for a blog about dieting anyway.

The weight watching is just one aspect of my life. First and most importantly, I'm a mama to a fun, energetic, smart, little three year old girl. I'm a stay at home mom, who used to work as Counselor before having my kiddo. In addition to my little girl, our family includes a 12 year cat named after a Beatle!

I started my Etsy shop a couple months ago. I've been making jewelry. Not trying to sound like a salesperson with a pitch here, but my bracelets and rings, pendants and children's jewelry are meant to be fun. They are colorful and unique (like a garden fairy's wings). This is a jewelry line that doesn't take itself too seriously!

I enjoy being creative. Whether I am knitting (my newest hobby), coloring with my kiddo or writing poems and short stories, I like to use my fingers to create.

Those that like to write usually love to read. I am an avid reader. I love books. I love the tangible aspect of a heavy book in my hands. I love the smell of a new book. I HAVE to be in the process of reading a book at ANY GIVEN TIME!

So now that you have a little history, let me tell you my plans.

I want to retool this blog. New Name. New feel. New posts.

There will be posts on dieting still, but I want to also blog about the books I've read (like Book Review Thursdays), post about my jewelry, blog about mommyhood and also post excerpts of a short story that I'll be writing soon.

Here's the Contest:
NAME MY BLOG!!!!

Submit your name, email address and new blog name suggestion to:

DoodlebugsJewel@aol.com

Winner will receive a piece of jewelry from my Etsy Shop: Doodlebug's Jewelry Box.

Fool The Guesser

A couple weeks ago, we were at the beach. You remember those hecklers that stand around and try to guess your weight? If they can't pinpoint your weight, age, birthday or whatever, you win a prize?



Well, my kiddo saw that one of the prizes that this guy was offering happened to be a Spongebob framed picture. She excitedly shouted while pointing to it, she wanted that "Bob-Bob" picture!



My hubby turns to me and says "Go ahead. You lost a lot of weight, you do it." Immediately, my palms start to sweat. I feel that sense of dread roll itself into a pit in my stomach. I do not want this guy, who has no problem making jokes at other people's expense, to make my weight the butt of his next joke. Pun very much intended here. I guess it comes down to this:

It doesn't matter that I'm smaller than I've ever been. I still feel like the fat girl. Losing the weight did not cure the insecurity.

I remember the first time that I joined Weight Watchers. I was in elementary school. Yep, that's right, ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. I lost a little bit of weight that year, but I still was chubby. All through school, I was never skinny. In high school and college, I used to wear baggy clothes, hoping that my body was hidden beneath my layers of clothes. In my twenties, I wore long sleeve shirts tied around my waist all day long, even in summer, to hide my big butt.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that losing weight will definitely make you healthier. You'll be proud of accomplishing your weight loss goal. You may actually feel "lighter". Walking, skipping, and playing will seem easier. HOWEVER, It will NOT cure the insecurities that you carry around even after the actual weight is gone. That takes a little more time.

If you want to lose weight, be prepared. Do not go into it thinking that you will temporarily be placing restrictions on yourself so that you can fit into that awesome bikini in the Cosmo that you read at the hairdresser's. This is a lifetime commitment. Even after you hit your goal weight, you'll still need to watch what you eat to avoid gaining the pounds back. No more funnel cakes or waffles with ice cream. No more delicious fresh squeezed lemonade on the boardwalk. No more fudge or caramel corn. Buh-bye, fluffy, sugary cotton candy.



This will be my second summer without these memory-inducing beach foods. I watch my hubby and kiddo eat these foods while I refrain. Trust me, it isn't easy. It takes lots of willpower to say no to even one bite... because we all know one bite leads to two then three then "I guess I'll start my diet back up tomorrow". I've had years of failed diets. I've spent the better part of the past two decades finding ways to hide my body. It's not fun and it perpetuates the body insecurity.

I may not be ready to have the boardwalk barker guess my weight, but I know in time I can get there. The number on the scale no longer fills me with shame. In fact, my last "weigh day" ended with a smile. I lost weight one pound at a time. I'll lose my insecurity about my weight, one bad memory at a time.

So back to the "Fool the Guesser" Game. I have him guess my age. I'm in my early thirties, but have always looked younger than my age. As I expected, he jokes around with me. He makes me promise not to beat him up if he thinks I look older than my actual age. His finger is already broken, which he claims happened when he guessed the last lady's age. Hardy-har-har.

Well, he makes his guess. He puts me in my twenties. He genuinely seems surprised when I tell him my real age. He turns to my hubby and says, "She's well preserved!" After all that, I end up fooling the guesser and my little girl gets her Spongebob picture.

Maybe embracing the good will be easier than I think. Hey, if I can pass up those vinegar-drenched boardwalk fries than surely I can banish a few insecurities, right?



***SIDE DISH:
First picture is a still from the Steve Martin movie, "The Jerk"

Mommy's Making Jewelry...

and doing laundry, cooking dinner and attempting to clean up the tornado of toys that continually keeps landing in our family room!



As I sit here typing, my little girl is sitting in my lap, sucking her thumb and watching one of her favorite cartoons. This is my favorite part of the day. These are the moments I will cherish in my later years. One day, my daughter will leave the nest as a hopefully happy and confident grown-up. She will call me once a week and roll her eyes when I ask if she's getting enough sleep, food, down time, and so on. She will not need me like she does now as a toddler.



This is why I am so grateful to be home with her. I know that time is fleeting. Wasn't it just an eye blink ago that she was my feisty newborn baby girl, who loved late nights and slept through mornings? Now I'm about to register her for music classes and pre-school. She is no longer my baby girl, she is my little girl. We have conversations. She remembers people and places. She pretends to do the boring everyday things that she sees in her world. She is guaranteed to "vacuum" with her corn popper whenever I clean the carpets. Just the other night, she played "waitress". She took my order (with a pen and pad) and served me a meal of invisible iced tea and plastic bananas. Maybe this tells you, the reader, that our family eats out way too much, but to me, I see my little girl growing up.

Stay tuned for the point to my ramblings...

My hubby is the breadwinner, the bringer of bacon, the sole provider in our home. I stay home with our daughter. Before my kid was born, I was a counselor. I earned a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology. Not exactly a "work from home" kinda job. I wanted to be able to bring a little extra cash into our home. Not "pay the car payments" kind of money, but maybe a "pay the CABLE bill" income. Every little bit helps, right?




I recently opened an Etsy Shop named Doodlebug's Jewelry Box. Basically, I'm making grown-up jewelry inspired by my daughter's dress-up jewelry. She has so much fun twirling around dressed as a fairy princess that I wanted to bottle that magical moment of happiness. I'm hoping I have done it with my Crystal Beaded Bracelet line!



So here is my shameless plug: Check out my Etsy shop. Maybe buy a bracelet? I'll be sending incredible offers to my customers with their first purchases. Plus I just ordered a bunch of supplies to start making fun flower rings and pendants made of tiles from one of my favorite boardgames, Scrabble!

My goal is to make enough money to buy my daughter this for the warmer weather:



Her boundless energy and love of throwing bouncy balls will make this so much fun for her this spring!

SAILING... takes me AWAY

After 13 months together, I am canceling my Weight Watchers membership. Everyday for the past year, I have been logging onto their online site like a devoted follower. I have calculated POINTS (and then POINTSPLUS) for every morsel of food that touched my lips. I monitored my weight chart like those on Wall Street do to the stock market. I have been obsessed with every pound on my frame.

I made eating a job, not a hobby.



This is a scary moment for me. How do I let go of my life boat when this weight loss thing will be a life long journey?

I'm terrified that I will gain the weight back. I mean it.
I am T-E-R-R-I-F-I-E-D.
Gaining even some of that weight back CANNOT be an option. This is not only a matter of health, but of happiness.

I guess I haven't really picked the best day to cut my ties to my Weight Watchers Online support system. The past two mornings that I have weighed myself have been a little disheartening. Yesterday, I was a pound heavier than normal. This morning, I was ANOTHER pound heavier!

At this rate, I'll gain my weight back in only TWO months! THIS IS NOT AN OPTION! No, Nope, Hell-nah! I have got to figure out what is causing this weight gain.



Hopefully, it is PMS-related and will go away in another week. Maybe it is those two donuts, I had this past week. Their POINTSPLUS values were added to my Daily Totals, but they still weren't exactly wise choices.

Can I do this by myself? How can I do this? Can I kiss Weight Watchers goodbye and then sail off in the sunset all by myself? Well, I do have one trick up my sleeve. I packed a floatation device with me. I recently ordered the POINTSPLUS Essential Member Kit and calculator. I guess I'll have some sort of support in case I need it...and I will. I do not want this boat to go crashing into any ice cream shaped rocks anytime soon.



I really hope Gilligan is not on my boat.

I've Got a New (Year) Attitude...

Happy New Year to all of you in Blog Land! 2011.... Already.

Damn, I'm getting old. I have roughly one more year left of officially being in my "early thirties". My little sister is about to have her second baby. My own kid will be three this year. Time flies when you're busy living.

Thanks to the passage of time, some memories are getting gray around the edges. I forget what a baby's kick feels like inside my belly. I'm having trouble remembering what it was like to waddle around with a big ol' pregnant tummy. I miss the magical, milky smell of baby's breath. I can't hear the sound of little baby coos anymore.

No, my biological clock isn't ticking. It's not a case of baby fever. I'm just amazed (and a little depressed) at how fast a year goes by when you reach adulthood. As much as I try to hold on, these moments do not last. Things change. Days go by. There is no pause button. As much as we may say that we need to "stop and smell the roses", it often falls to the wayside as we go on with our everyday lives. Housework needs to be done. Meals need to be cooked. Doctors appointments need to be scheduled. Errands need to be ran. Before you know it, another year is gone.

So this brings me to my New Year's Resolution:





Patience. Nah, I'm not telling you to wait for my answer, that's my new year's goal. I want to be more patient. One simple word. This can't be THAT hard, right?

I want to stop being in such a hurry. I hate getting easily frustrated when things don't get done. I don't want to rush through life.

Who cares if I have to wait in line? Well, actually, I do. Should I care? Maybe. I don't have to "like" it, but I don't need to get snippy when it happens. I want to set a good example for my kid. I don't want her to throw a tantrum when things don't go her way. It may be okay at 2 to act like that, but not at 32.

How is this "patience" thing working out for me? Well, let's just say that it's a work in progress. The "weight loss" resolution of 2010 was actually easier than this one. As for my weight loss, I'm in maintenance mode now. Kind of boring to blog about, so I really haven't been posting. I'm going to have to figure out what to write about now that the weight loss is finished. What should my gimmick be? Insert wink here.

Anyone want to hear from a neurotic, book loving, bracelet making, new age believing, carrot stick eating mama?