SAILING... takes me AWAY

After 13 months together, I am canceling my Weight Watchers membership. Everyday for the past year, I have been logging onto their online site like a devoted follower. I have calculated POINTS (and then POINTSPLUS) for every morsel of food that touched my lips. I monitored my weight chart like those on Wall Street do to the stock market. I have been obsessed with every pound on my frame.

I made eating a job, not a hobby.



This is a scary moment for me. How do I let go of my life boat when this weight loss thing will be a life long journey?

I'm terrified that I will gain the weight back. I mean it.
I am T-E-R-R-I-F-I-E-D.
Gaining even some of that weight back CANNOT be an option. This is not only a matter of health, but of happiness.

I guess I haven't really picked the best day to cut my ties to my Weight Watchers Online support system. The past two mornings that I have weighed myself have been a little disheartening. Yesterday, I was a pound heavier than normal. This morning, I was ANOTHER pound heavier!

At this rate, I'll gain my weight back in only TWO months! THIS IS NOT AN OPTION! No, Nope, Hell-nah! I have got to figure out what is causing this weight gain.



Hopefully, it is PMS-related and will go away in another week. Maybe it is those two donuts, I had this past week. Their POINTSPLUS values were added to my Daily Totals, but they still weren't exactly wise choices.

Can I do this by myself? How can I do this? Can I kiss Weight Watchers goodbye and then sail off in the sunset all by myself? Well, I do have one trick up my sleeve. I packed a floatation device with me. I recently ordered the POINTSPLUS Essential Member Kit and calculator. I guess I'll have some sort of support in case I need it...and I will. I do not want this boat to go crashing into any ice cream shaped rocks anytime soon.



I really hope Gilligan is not on my boat.

I've Got a New (Year) Attitude...

Happy New Year to all of you in Blog Land! 2011.... Already.

Damn, I'm getting old. I have roughly one more year left of officially being in my "early thirties". My little sister is about to have her second baby. My own kid will be three this year. Time flies when you're busy living.

Thanks to the passage of time, some memories are getting gray around the edges. I forget what a baby's kick feels like inside my belly. I'm having trouble remembering what it was like to waddle around with a big ol' pregnant tummy. I miss the magical, milky smell of baby's breath. I can't hear the sound of little baby coos anymore.

No, my biological clock isn't ticking. It's not a case of baby fever. I'm just amazed (and a little depressed) at how fast a year goes by when you reach adulthood. As much as I try to hold on, these moments do not last. Things change. Days go by. There is no pause button. As much as we may say that we need to "stop and smell the roses", it often falls to the wayside as we go on with our everyday lives. Housework needs to be done. Meals need to be cooked. Doctors appointments need to be scheduled. Errands need to be ran. Before you know it, another year is gone.

So this brings me to my New Year's Resolution:





Patience. Nah, I'm not telling you to wait for my answer, that's my new year's goal. I want to be more patient. One simple word. This can't be THAT hard, right?

I want to stop being in such a hurry. I hate getting easily frustrated when things don't get done. I don't want to rush through life.

Who cares if I have to wait in line? Well, actually, I do. Should I care? Maybe. I don't have to "like" it, but I don't need to get snippy when it happens. I want to set a good example for my kid. I don't want her to throw a tantrum when things don't go her way. It may be okay at 2 to act like that, but not at 32.

How is this "patience" thing working out for me? Well, let's just say that it's a work in progress. The "weight loss" resolution of 2010 was actually easier than this one. As for my weight loss, I'm in maintenance mode now. Kind of boring to blog about, so I really haven't been posting. I'm going to have to figure out what to write about now that the weight loss is finished. What should my gimmick be? Insert wink here.

Anyone want to hear from a neurotic, book loving, bracelet making, new age believing, carrot stick eating mama?