Have any of you seen this article from the Washington Post? My sister brought it to my attention. I've got to admit, it really struck a nerve with me.
I am a Stay-at-Home Mom to a toddler. If you would have told me five years ago, that I'd quit my job to raise a child, I would have laughed in your face. I was raised to be an independent, self-reliant woman. To be a contributing member of society, I believed I had to have a "9 to 5" job. I had to make my own money. I had to pay my own bills. If you hear Destiny's Child's "Independent Woman" in your head as you read this, then you get the idea!
I was wrong. Don't tell my husband that I have admitted it though!
First off, being a mom is the busiest job that I have ever had. It is non-stop. While my hubby puts in an eight hour day of work, my day is all day and occasionally all night too! My hubby gets to come home and relax, I continue doing what I do all day. If I'm sick, I'm still mom, mothers can't call out sick. If I go on vacation, I'm still mom, but at a more "exotic" locale.
Moms are caregivers, teachers, playmates, cooks, maids, nurses and so much more. And this brings me to the next misperception I once had of Stay-at-Home Mommyhood. As a parent, I AM still contributing to society. I am raising a child. Her happiness, early education, health and safety fall on my shoulders all day, every single day of the year.*
Friendships. When I first had my child, like a wave crashing in then pulling back out to sea, I noticed that my friends, even the ones who were at my baby shower and seemed so excited to welcome my little mini-me into the world, began to distance themselves. It is completely understandable though.
I don't have time to be the kind of friend that I used to be. I can't hang out till 2am anymore. I can't be over in 10 minutes. I can't have long phone conversations anymore. If I get together with a friend, my kid will be there AND I can't guarantee my undivided attention. Sorry.
And you know what? I'm ok with that. The friends that don't understand aren't worth the time that could be better spent elsewhere anyway. My bestest friend gets it. She's an extremely busy person so that probably helps too! I love her even more for embracing my role as a mom.
Anyway, for the reasons above, I really enjoyed this newspaper clipping from a 2007 edition of the Washington Post. I hope you do as well.
***
TELL ME ABOUT IT ®
By Carolyn Hax
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Carolyn:
Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .
Okay. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.
Tacoma, Wash.
*
Relax and enjoy. You're funny.
Or you're lying about having friends with kids.
Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.
Internet searches?
I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.
So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.
It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.
It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.
It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.
It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.
It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.
Write to Tell Me About It, Style, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, ortellme@washpost.com.
***
Pretty good, huh?
All this being said, I love being a mom. It has been the most rewarding, fun experience in my 30+ years. Despite the sleep deprivation, the little amount of "me" time, the constant worrying, the hard work, IT IS SO WORTH IT! Every morning (even the ones after a puke filled night), I wake up with a smile.
~~~~~~~~
SIDE DISH:
* I think the working mommas have it twice hard as the moms at home. I did not include them in my blabbering because I cannot speak from experience. My sister has a high-stress job, a toddler and a baby on the way. She works her butt off. I have so much admiration and awe for the strong woman that she continues to be. Rock on, little sis!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Mmm.... Macaroni Salad On A Diet
We went to a party at my husband's cousin's house today. Everyone invited was asked to bring a dish. On these occasions where we go to parties or picnics, I'm usually very limited on what I can eat. I end up by the veggie tray, eating all the celery and carrots up, but leaving Aunt So & So's homemade dip behind.
On the rare occasion that someone actually asks me to make food for a party, I try to make something that I can eat. Sorry, carrots, much love to ya, but you never fill me up!
I found a low-fat Macaroni Salad recipe and have tweaked it to make it my own. I love it so much, I figured I'd share it with you all. It is my go-to recipe when someone asks me to make something picnic-foody.
Yummy Macaroni Salad
8 oz of dry elbow macaroni (aka half a box)
1/2 cup Hellman's Low-fat Mayonnaise*
1 1/2 Tbsp Red Wine Vinegar
1 tsp Dijon Mustard
1/2 tsp Garlic Powder
1/2 tsp Nature's Seasons**
1 cup celery (chopped)
1/2 cup red onion (chopped)
1 medium Green Pepper, mild (chopped)
3 Tbsp Green Olives, sliced
Cook macaroni according to instructions on the box.
While waiting for the macaroni to cook, combine mayo, vinegar, dijon mustard, garlic powder and Nature's Seasons in small bowl until well blended. We'll call this the dressing.
Drain macaroni then mix in dressing. After macaroni is well coated with dressing, mix in celery, onion, green pepper and olives.
Cover dish with aluminum foil. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Each serving is roughly 2/3 cup. The Weight Watcher POINTS value for each serving is 3 POINTS.
Enjoy, I know I do!
~~~~~~~~
SIDE DISH
*I recommend using Hellman's Low-fat Mayo, because it is 4.5 POINTS for 1/2 cup of it. If you do not like it or want to use something else, be careful. Some reduced fat mayos can cost you about 11 POINTS for one serving! That's just crazy to me!
** You can substitute salt and pepper for Nature's Seasons. We use Nature's Seasons like we own stock in it! Try it, it's a delicious seasoning.
On the rare occasion that someone actually asks me to make food for a party, I try to make something that I can eat. Sorry, carrots, much love to ya, but you never fill me up!
I found a low-fat Macaroni Salad recipe and have tweaked it to make it my own. I love it so much, I figured I'd share it with you all. It is my go-to recipe when someone asks me to make something picnic-foody.
Yummy Macaroni Salad
8 oz of dry elbow macaroni (aka half a box)
1/2 cup Hellman's Low-fat Mayonnaise*
1 1/2 Tbsp Red Wine Vinegar
1 tsp Dijon Mustard
1/2 tsp Garlic Powder
1/2 tsp Nature's Seasons**
1 cup celery (chopped)
1/2 cup red onion (chopped)
1 medium Green Pepper, mild (chopped)
3 Tbsp Green Olives, sliced
Cook macaroni according to instructions on the box.
While waiting for the macaroni to cook, combine mayo, vinegar, dijon mustard, garlic powder and Nature's Seasons in small bowl until well blended. We'll call this the dressing.
Drain macaroni then mix in dressing. After macaroni is well coated with dressing, mix in celery, onion, green pepper and olives.
Cover dish with aluminum foil. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Each serving is roughly 2/3 cup. The Weight Watcher POINTS value for each serving is 3 POINTS.
Enjoy, I know I do!
~~~~~~~~
SIDE DISH
*I recommend using Hellman's Low-fat Mayo, because it is 4.5 POINTS for 1/2 cup of it. If you do not like it or want to use something else, be careful. Some reduced fat mayos can cost you about 11 POINTS for one serving! That's just crazy to me!
** You can substitute salt and pepper for Nature's Seasons. We use Nature's Seasons like we own stock in it! Try it, it's a delicious seasoning.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Cheaters Never Win... OR Lose Weight
I cheated. Yeah, I said it. I am a dirty, rotten cheater. Thankfully, for my husband's sake at least, the only thing I cheated on was my diet.
I cheated before last night too. My family went on vacation last month to my favorite place on Earth: the beach. Ah, it brings a smile to my face just thinking about it. Warm sand between my toes, sunshine bright on my shoulders, a summer breeze blowing past my face, the trance inducing sounds of waves crashing, boardwalk fries loaded with vinegar, pizza and of course, the obligatory cone of ice cream.
I look forward to those moments with my family ALL YEAR LONG. I also planned on taking a break from my diet from that trip since starting my dieting journey back in January.
Do you see the most important word in that last sentence? That's right, I PLANNED for it. I was a good cheater. I ate breakfast. I ate dinner. I did not overindulge at either meal. In fact, I shared my breakfast with my daughter each and every morning! I did not snack. I had half of a milkshake only on one night. That was on my birthday in lieu of cake. I only gained a pound for that week. I was OK with that. And I ended up losing it the very next week.
There was no guilt associated with my diet lapse at the beach because it was scheduled ahead of time. Last night, I did not plan on eating what I ate, but I am only human. I was tempted. I needed it. My mouth was actually watering at the thought of it.
The strange things is that I'm not much of a meat eater. If you ever want to see me spit out chewed up food, start talking about the fact that what is in my mouth is actually the remains of a poor, innocent animal. I'll seriously stay away from that food for a month after that.
I hate steak. If you put a big ol' filet mignon in front of me, I will not even graze it with my knife, I'll load up on whatever sides are being served. The texture of meat has also been known to gross me out. Sometimes just thinking about it can make me gag. My hubby and I joke all the time about the fact that I'm perfectly happy eating buttered noddles every night for dinner while he prefers meat and potatoes. It's also part of the reason that I don't do much cooking. Why cook an entire meal that only one person will be eating? I'd be making separate meals for all three of us! Also, I have a hard time cooking meat. It grosses me out.
So back to the cheesesteak craving. Maybe my body wanted it because it needed it. I've got my monthly intruder so maybe I needed iron or something? I don't know.
When we originally headed over to the pizza shop, I said to my hubby (who is a saint for dealing with all my diet stipulations when it comes to choosing a restaurant to eat in) that I would only order a cheesesteak if they were out of tomato pie. I will generally eat a slice or two of their phenomenal tomato pie sans Parmesan cheese topping at least once a week. It is delicious. Yummy. Filling. A dieter's friend.
No surprise. They had sold out of it.
I tried to be good while being bad. When the employee plopped my cheesesteak in front of me, I did not add ketchup to it. I did not eat a lot of the pile of fries sitting in front of the three of us. I had a handful, that's all. Really. Despite the fact that I used to be a french fry fiend, I exhibited some willpower against their delicious pull. Unfortunately, I ate every last bite of my sandwich. Hell, I would have licked the plate if I didn't think anyone would have seen me!
So here it is, my 20 POINT indulgence. Only after hitting my 55 pounds LOST mark did I start using some of my Weekly POINTS allowance. On WW, you get 35 additional POINTS each and every week to use however and on whatever you choose. I try to use no more than five of them each week. Last night, I used almost HALF of those extra POINTS!
I feel like a big fat cow. And I don't mean that in a "you are what you eat" kinda way. I simply mean that I feel like a big fat cow.
I guess the guilt is eating at me. Pun intended.
However, part of me thinks I MIGHT just be being a LITTLE to hard on myself. After all, I remember reading that it takes 3500 calories to gain a pound. That cheesesteak probably was only a third of that!
I cheated before last night too. My family went on vacation last month to my favorite place on Earth: the beach. Ah, it brings a smile to my face just thinking about it. Warm sand between my toes, sunshine bright on my shoulders, a summer breeze blowing past my face, the trance inducing sounds of waves crashing, boardwalk fries loaded with vinegar, pizza and of course, the obligatory cone of ice cream.
I look forward to those moments with my family ALL YEAR LONG. I also planned on taking a break from my diet from that trip since starting my dieting journey back in January.
Do you see the most important word in that last sentence? That's right, I PLANNED for it. I was a good cheater. I ate breakfast. I ate dinner. I did not overindulge at either meal. In fact, I shared my breakfast with my daughter each and every morning! I did not snack. I had half of a milkshake only on one night. That was on my birthday in lieu of cake. I only gained a pound for that week. I was OK with that. And I ended up losing it the very next week.
There was no guilt associated with my diet lapse at the beach because it was scheduled ahead of time. Last night, I did not plan on eating what I ate, but I am only human. I was tempted. I needed it. My mouth was actually watering at the thought of it.
The strange things is that I'm not much of a meat eater. If you ever want to see me spit out chewed up food, start talking about the fact that what is in my mouth is actually the remains of a poor, innocent animal. I'll seriously stay away from that food for a month after that.
I hate steak. If you put a big ol' filet mignon in front of me, I will not even graze it with my knife, I'll load up on whatever sides are being served. The texture of meat has also been known to gross me out. Sometimes just thinking about it can make me gag. My hubby and I joke all the time about the fact that I'm perfectly happy eating buttered noddles every night for dinner while he prefers meat and potatoes. It's also part of the reason that I don't do much cooking. Why cook an entire meal that only one person will be eating? I'd be making separate meals for all three of us! Also, I have a hard time cooking meat. It grosses me out.
So back to the cheesesteak craving. Maybe my body wanted it because it needed it. I've got my monthly intruder so maybe I needed iron or something? I don't know.
When we originally headed over to the pizza shop, I said to my hubby (who is a saint for dealing with all my diet stipulations when it comes to choosing a restaurant to eat in) that I would only order a cheesesteak if they were out of tomato pie. I will generally eat a slice or two of their phenomenal tomato pie sans Parmesan cheese topping at least once a week. It is delicious. Yummy. Filling. A dieter's friend.
No surprise. They had sold out of it.
I tried to be good while being bad. When the employee plopped my cheesesteak in front of me, I did not add ketchup to it. I did not eat a lot of the pile of fries sitting in front of the three of us. I had a handful, that's all. Really. Despite the fact that I used to be a french fry fiend, I exhibited some willpower against their delicious pull. Unfortunately, I ate every last bite of my sandwich. Hell, I would have licked the plate if I didn't think anyone would have seen me!
So here it is, my 20 POINT indulgence. Only after hitting my 55 pounds LOST mark did I start using some of my Weekly POINTS allowance. On WW, you get 35 additional POINTS each and every week to use however and on whatever you choose. I try to use no more than five of them each week. Last night, I used almost HALF of those extra POINTS!
I feel like a big fat cow. And I don't mean that in a "you are what you eat" kinda way. I simply mean that I feel like a big fat cow.
I guess the guilt is eating at me. Pun intended.
However, part of me thinks I MIGHT just be being a LITTLE to hard on myself. After all, I remember reading that it takes 3500 calories to gain a pound. That cheesesteak probably was only a third of that!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Promises, Promises
The blog looks a little different, doesn't it? I changed the name, the background and hopefully, the feel of this little blog o' mine. Why, you ask?
This blog was started as means to motivate myself. I didn't expect anyone to read it and I was ok with that. I wanted to have a place where I could hold myself accountable for the choices I made on this diet. Since I was doing the Weight Watchers online program, I figured a blog was appropriate.
You know what I learned?
That I didn't need a blog to stick to my diet. My motivation was in the little girl running around my house. She had boundless energy. I could not keep up with her. I was 50 pounds overweight according to my height and age. Was this going to put me in an early grave? Would I miss her prom, graduation, marriage, first child?
50 pounds. That will be easy enough. Two pounds a week. I'd have it off in 25 weeks. About six months. I could diet for that long, right?
Well, it took a little longer than that. It was more like eight months! And it wasn't easy. There were times when I was still hungry (or PMS-ing)and THOSE french fries dipped in THAT milkshake sounded so good! So...
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I LOST THE FIFTY POUNDS!
Actually, I'm down 57 pounds now. I plan to lose about 8 more pounds before going into "maintenance" mode.
This is the first time, as an adult, that I have been a size MEDIUM. Before this year, I had never been in the healthy weight range for my height. There was always a little extra junk in my trunk, some chub to my frame. However, the past seven years or so, I really packed on the pounds. I went for being a little overweight to downright fat.
Now as promised (and dreaded by me), my BEFORE and AFTER pictures. Be gentle.
AT MY AUNT'S WEDDING IN 2007
A COUPLE WEEKS AGO, BUYING NEW PANTS
So there you go. I plan on continuing to eat like a "dieter" for the rest of my life. I'll give myself cheat days, but they won't be everyday AND they WILL be within reason.
This blog will not be closing. It will be changing. And to celebrate, we will be doing a give-away soon. Details to come.
This blog was started as means to motivate myself. I didn't expect anyone to read it and I was ok with that. I wanted to have a place where I could hold myself accountable for the choices I made on this diet. Since I was doing the Weight Watchers online program, I figured a blog was appropriate.
You know what I learned?
That I didn't need a blog to stick to my diet. My motivation was in the little girl running around my house. She had boundless energy. I could not keep up with her. I was 50 pounds overweight according to my height and age. Was this going to put me in an early grave? Would I miss her prom, graduation, marriage, first child?
50 pounds. That will be easy enough. Two pounds a week. I'd have it off in 25 weeks. About six months. I could diet for that long, right?
Well, it took a little longer than that. It was more like eight months! And it wasn't easy. There were times when I was still hungry (or PMS-ing)and THOSE french fries dipped in THAT milkshake sounded so good! So...
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I LOST THE FIFTY POUNDS!
Actually, I'm down 57 pounds now. I plan to lose about 8 more pounds before going into "maintenance" mode.
This is the first time, as an adult, that I have been a size MEDIUM. Before this year, I had never been in the healthy weight range for my height. There was always a little extra junk in my trunk, some chub to my frame. However, the past seven years or so, I really packed on the pounds. I went for being a little overweight to downright fat.
Now as promised (and dreaded by me), my BEFORE and AFTER pictures. Be gentle.
AT MY AUNT'S WEDDING IN 2007
A COUPLE WEEKS AGO, BUYING NEW PANTS
So there you go. I plan on continuing to eat like a "dieter" for the rest of my life. I'll give myself cheat days, but they won't be everyday AND they WILL be within reason.
This blog will not be closing. It will be changing. And to celebrate, we will be doing a give-away soon. Details to come.
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